A little Discussion with Eragon

Eragon: Why did I get rescued by a girl? I am perfectly competent to rescue myself.
Me: Because, I am tired of knight in shining armor stories. You are competent, but I like having guys get rescued by girls.
Eragon: Oh. Well, then, what about my love life?
Me: You shall have your heart stomped upon, then you get married. I have chosen a suitable wife for you.
Eragon: Why can't I choose my own wife? And why do I have to get my heart stomped upon?
Me: Because I am the boss. And I said so.
Eragon: But . . .
Me: No buts about it, mister. You do what I say.
Eragon: You are right. You know what's best.
Me: Take some lessons on flattery, then talk to me. I suggest taking lessons from Olenia, he knows what he's doing.
Eragon: I'm insulted.
Me: Good, you should be.

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Discussion w/ Murtagh

Murtagh:Why do I always get tortured?
Me: Because, you ticked the King off.
Murtagh: Because you made me!
Me: Excuses, excuses. Besides, you are going to be rewarded. I am thinking a little romance for you in Ellesmera.
Murtagh:Can't I choose my own girl?
Me: You're incompetent to do anything but my bidding.
Murtagh: You are right, oh my beautiful writer. I love you, and would endure torture of a thousand Galbatorixi (plural of Galbatorix) for you.
Me: Flattery gets you nowhere.
Murtagh:Oh, but it does (waggling eyebrows at the moment)